


Undeneath your soles

by Allo_Long



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Aromantic Mioda Ibuki, Asexual Mioda Ibuki, Awkward Conversations, Bad Ending, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito Is Obsessed With Hope, Komaeda Nagito Is a Little Shit, M/M, Mioda Ibuki and Tanaka Gundham Are Siblings, POV Tanaka Gundham, Past Character Death, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Romance, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, but if you want it to be then ok, not completely true
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26945110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allo_Long/pseuds/Allo_Long
Summary: The boy brings his sleeve to his eyes and hesitates before leaving them to fall.None do.Gundham guesses that they believe that if they were to fall, they would be succumbing to the treacherous truth.Nagito was crying; well, as much as someone like Nagito could cry.It was hard to do so when you have withheld your truths from all but the gods for so long.-Gundham Tanaka finds Nagito Komaeda crying in Strawberry House after he reminisced about Ibuki Mioda.COMPLETE
Relationships: Komaeda Nagito & Tanaka Gundham, Komaeda Nagito/Tanaka Gundham, Mioda Ibuki & Tanaka Gundham, Mioda Ibuki & Tanaka Gundham (mentioned), Roulette - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	Undeneath your soles

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate Universe/Timeline where Nagito goes through the Final Dead Room before Nekomaru is reported dead.
> 
> This was an excuse for me to write all deep and stuff.  
> I can't write like that for long so sorry it's so bad,,,  
> Also! First Danganronpa fic! I love Roulette.
> 
> **WARNING: badly written; a lot of Gundham thoughts; this is also a vent about my own emotions; Ibuki's death is a HUGE emotional mess of thoughts sorry.**

Gundham is at a loss for words. This hasn't happened before.

Usually, he knows exactly what words to say, what phrases would captivate one's attention to him; he knows how to be known.

However, he doesn't need to be known at the moment.

Which is one of the reasons why he's feeling extremely overwhelmed right now.

The last remaining survivors of Mikan's class trial are now in this abstract and eye-bleeding "Fun House."

Gundham has never been to one before becoming apart of this killing field trip; the idea seems to be to entertain one's self, however, Gundham can't understand how.

Maybe this funhouse isn't an accurate representation of what a funhouse should actually be like. The only abnormal thing about it, however, seemed to be the Final Dead Room.

The room wasn't that difficult to go through.

He had been walking around Strawberry house; he knew it wasn't the best idea, especially with how he hasn't eaten in a while. That will change soon.

Nekomaru has been dead for about 10 minutes. The fight he had given has been one for Gundham to remember for the rest of his life in this realm.

Had he killed Nekomaru out of Care? Or maybe Liking?

It's hard to pinpoint his own emotions for mortals, especially the ones he has met on the island.

It's easier to just brush off the minuscule feelings of affection then dwell on them.

He has done the same for Ibuki, he shall do it again.

Ibuki's death had been somewhat of an eye-opener.

She had been what one would call a "friend" to Gundham. She had meddled her way into his being, carving a small yet prominent mark in his life; a mark he will never forget.

Her loud nature was one like his own, yet her optimistic and flirtatious - platonic - nature contradicted his pessimistic and isolate one.

For as long as she was there, she knew how to bring his utmost attention to only her being; her light.

Gundham will never admit that it was nice to see someone else be at the center of life's stage.

Her mark was one of an ever-going cave; it never ended as she dug herself deeper into his being.

She left children’s drawings on the walls, all with her expectations for their friendship.

She wanted to be in a band with him.

Raise baby chicks.

See his hair down.

Sing to one of her songs together.

Learn about snakes.

Go watch a movie

Eat something vegan.

Go ice-skating.

Pet a giant lizard.

Every new expectation was another picture on the tunnel's walls.

The colors bounced off one another, dancing on the ceiling of this everlasting stroll of hers as she made her way further and further to him.

And then she died.

Her death had caused this concaved tunnel, swirling with glistening lights and colors of once buried emotions, to crumble and collapse onto itself. The mark she itched into his soul has started to bleed a thick river. The drawings were brutally ripped from the inside, leaving gashing wounds behind.

All he was given was an afternoon before he had to go back out to everyone else.

Before he had to put up his walls again.

Before he had to act as if he was fine.

As if he was still powerful.

As if this single person hadn't just caused him such hurt.

It was like his dad all over again.

He had cried.

Ibuki had spoken things that Gundham has had a hard time figuring out. She wasn't boring or repetitive, every thought she had was unique and wild; a singularity, he considered her. A minor one, yes, but one nonetheless.

She probably would have gone through the Final Dead Room with him just to show such a thing.

> _"Hey, what's your opinion on romance and lovey-dovey stuff? Because, if I'm being honest, if it was a song it would be called_ 'A strangled squirrel on the ground being left for dead by his messed up skunk boyfriend-'"
> 
> _"There is no use for such futile nonsense. One must devote one's life to living it thoroughly with no limitation. Those who do anything else are nothing more than a wasted potential to what the unspoken powers of this universe have granted; it's a blasphemous feeling."_
> 
> _"Heh. Yeah. I get 'ya, but I'd use less god words. People think since I speak to 'em funny or flirtatious like that means I want to be with them in a romantic way. But, nah~ I'd rather have a bandmate. We could hug and write songs on things only we understand and just exist! I've never wanted anything more."_
> 
> _"Why is that your goal? Isn't there much more to your mortal life?"_
> 
> _"I mean, sure, but why make my goal only my own? Like, you and me? We could totally take this world head-on and crush it! It'd be amazing! And we wouldn't be held down by that romance, friendship, enemy, weirdo-words-that-make-zero-sense-if spoken-to-an-alien nonsense! Like, hello~! I'm a super cool rock star and you're a weird godman who has the best fashion sense I have ever seen. We even have your hamsters as mascots."_
> 
> _"How dare you insult the Four Devas of Destruction in such a way?! This is only their temporary form, one that will reveal devastating cre-"_
> 
> _"Yeah yeah, Four Divas of Awesomeness, I get you. All I'm saying is that all that romance stuff is past us two and we should totally do a tour together after leaving this place."_
> 
> _"'D-Divas?' You fiend-"_
> 
> _"Plus, that way, I can build up my closeness with you and finally hold your hand~!"_
> 
> _"I'm leaving."_
> 
> _"HEY, IF WE WERE A SONG, WE'D BE_ 'TAKE YOUR DICK OUT MY FACE CUS I GOT A BANDMATE' _RIGHT!?"_

She never held his hand.

_Anything that can talk will eventually betray you._

His line stands true.

Ibuki lost the game of life too fast. He shall not blame her for her end but...

His fate shall now only lay in his own grasp. He will _not_ be left away with again.

She had given him a childish drawing of them both that day.

It rests in his pocket now.

_He should get to his room before he is suspected._

That's what Gundham had in mind until he walked into the first room of the Strawberry House; the room where everyone had woken up in at the start of this slow descent into madness.

In said room sat Nagito Komaeda, hunched over as if he were trying to make his form of being disappear.

There was a red-tinted glass bottle laying on the ground; a greyish liquid spilled onto the floor from the tip, creating a small puddle under the boy's dirtied sneakers.

Gundham recognizes that bottle from the Final Dead Room.

It was poison.

"Why are you up at this hour?" He has to play it off; Nagito was an observative mortal who has been able to help crack open every murder case thus far. Were he to notice any sort of contradiction Gundham was to make, it would be used against him during the trial, which he would have to dispute - 'why he was up in the first place?'

He hasn't been able to create an excuse for that so far.

"Don't spend your time with a lowlife like me. Ultimates like you don't deserve to see such trash so early in the day."

Ah, degradation. That always was a quality of the lucky student that confused Gundham. Why subject one's self to such negativity on a daily basis? Why use one's own words to do so?

Degradation leaves to depression, depression leads to suicidal thoughts, which leave to, most likely, suicide.

‘Tis the arrogance of humanity; to throw away the gift of life the powers have given you.

"You bring yourself to my feet to show worth you believe to be small, however, all you show me is that you are lesser than even _you_ have suspected. What is with the glass bottle?"

"...I don't need to tell you."

Concealment. Mistruths. Lies. Nagito probably doesn't want Gundham to know he was in the Final Dead Room. How bothersome.

"There is no where for such drink to be. Monokuma, the beast, has made sure that this prison of colors is relinquished of all consumption items. You have accompanied this from where?"

"You sure do ask many questions… I got it from the Final Dead Room."

"If I recall, we had all agreed upon not enter the room, for it was a formidable trap, correct?"

"You're scolding me, I'm not a child, you know." _Why was he being so churlish?_

"From your repulsive attitude, I would suggest you as such. That, however, is not what I had asked. Stop avoiding the subjects of the matter like an impudent mortal and speak with sense. Why did you go in the Final Dead Room without motive? There is no reason to do so unless you plan to uncover it's secrets and keep them to yourself like a selfish prude."

"...It's not as simple as-"

"Either that _or_ you are planning to kill." An ironic jab to himself; he had done exactly that all but 20 minutes ago. The facade must be kept, however.

"Maybe I plan to. Maybe I don't. I only do what is necessary in the name of hope." "Then it is quite obvious the route you must take."

A beat of silence filled the room. All the ticks of the clock were harsh on the ears. Gundham should leave; he needs a steady alibi. If he were to be there for the clocks chime, surely someone - Hajime - will notice. His room has soundproof, just like Nagito's.

It would be so easy to walk out. To leave this mortal to his degradation and squabble. He wished it so badly.

But curiosity killed the cat.

"Hope is to always be achieved by a great deal of despair; those are your beliefs. To bring despair in a situation such as this would be as simple as leaving us all for starvation. In your case, however, killing someone else would work better in your favor. To realize how useless one is between a life or death situation would surely awaken such hope you wish to achieve; especially during a class trial, when everyone is doubting one another and causing a brink of chaos and mistrust. That is why I see you going for such a route. Unless I have misread you and your taste for despair. For it would be quite a twist to realize you enjoy the slow starvation of your fellow mortals more than the quickening adrenaline of both a kill and class trial."

"Heheh. You read me like a book."

"Not true. You wear your morals on your sleeve. It is but the cruel nature that you choose to hide. I do not need to know someone as destructive as you to be able to know the situation and your ideals, especially when your only contribution to others is your biased and careless beliefs."

"T-They aren't careless beliefs! I've experienced the cycles of hope and luck all my life, of course I'd believe in it."

"I am certain you can not give one well thought out example."

"...I can, but it's none of your business."

"Back with the nonsense, I see; I knew you were nothing more than a child. I'm sure you have forgotten, but I had asked you about the poison on the floor. Do you wish to still answer?"

"No, but you seem to like bugging me."

"This isn't so much as me bothering you, but me being curious of your nature."

"Hm. Can't believe an ultimate is this sincere over me." That didn't seem genuine.

What had occurred in the Final Dead Room for Nagito to act this way? It certainly had to be that room, there are no other ways around it. Was he given answers? Secrets? To what exactly? Was it about the building? Certainly not, seeing as how something as trivial as that wouldn't leave this boy as rude and drained as he was now.

What was it?

And what was with the poison? It was open, leaking onto the floor. Nagito didn't seem to be sick, which means he had not used it on himself. Was it for murder? If so, how annoying. To think Gundham didn't even need to fight Nekomaru; if only he had known of Nagito's plan.

He let that thought go quickly.

The past has ended and now all that remained in his journey was the future.

"You seem to be rather irritated, fiend."

"Probably because I'm starving."

"We're all starving, yet you do not see me acting any different."

"I don't know for sure, but you _do_ seem calmer than usual, however.”

"That is exhaustion. _You_ have changed your very personality at the flip of a coin, especially with the way you speak to me. What happened to your undying respect for Ultimates? 'Has only been 3 days, and yet you seem to have completely changed your attitude."

"Leave it."

"It just doesn't seem quite like you, especially since your moral compass follows hope, which you believe ultimates encompass."

"I said _leave it._ "

"No. Stop acting like a child. You're alone early in the morning after 3 days of starvation, you have poison laying under your soles, and when I walked in, you were hunched over yourself as if in pain. Yet that doesn't seem to be the case. So, either answer my questions or face the wrath of my Four Devas of Destruction as we, the Tanaka Empire, uncover your secrets!"

Nagito glared at him. It was if all the evil in the world were fogging his vision, leaving only reckless anger to come forth. Gundham has never seen such anger appointed at him before, especially from the so-called 'Ultimate Ultimate Fanboy.'

"You people don't deserve to be titled Ultimates. Those who fall to despair, those who reek of the stench, don't deserve my respect."

"Fall to despair, you say? By this, you mean our fallen comrades, or is this to be addressed as something else?"

"...you wouldn't know. Not that it matters if you did, my point still stands."

"Shall you tell me or is it fate that these secrets pass me?"

Nagito gave a slight sniffle before wrapping his arms around his knees.

Oh.

Those grey eyes sparkled with unshed tears, tears that seemed to be still in the void of time.

Powers might open up doorways to the honors of this dimension for those eyes.

The boy brings his sleeve to his eyes and hesitates before leaving them to fall.

None do.

Gundham guesses that they believe that if they were to fall, they would be succumbing to the treacherous truth.

Nagito was crying; well, as much as someone like Nagito could cry.

It was hard to do so when you have withheld your truths from all but the gods for so long.

"You don't need to know how much you deserve to die."

The words left Gundham speechless.

"Excuse me?"

"I learned about our lives during Hope's Peak Academy. It was only some files on our talents, home life, basically just things we already know; nothing specific. Except for one folder, which told stories and real-life accounts of what happened after our class 'graduated.'"

"...are you to keep this to yourself? This is important information, something that those both alive and dead have wondered."

"So? In our case, it's merciful to not know what happened; what we did to the world."

"Hm. You see ignorance as merciful. Tell me this, did the files hint to who the 'traitor' of this trip is?"

"...Can you leave me alone now?"

"No. Now answer the question, I'm getting impatient."

"Yes, in a way. Now leave me alone."

"You are extremely aggravating..."

The poison resting at Nagito's feet started to smell, a copper-like toxin reaching Gundham's nose.

The poison. It couldn't be for a murder, now that Gundham analyzes the situation further. That would leave two murderers at the trial, which Gundham suspects isn't allowed, according to the trip's rules. Monokuma would have intervened by now.

What other use could the poison be for?

"Do you see yourself as a waste?"

"What?" Nagito's sleeves are covered in his unfallen tears. He must have wiped them away after not being able to see clearly for a while.

"Do you see your life as not worth living?"

"My life is only worth living when I am being a stepping stool for hope. I'm willing to die for it or kill for it."

"That did not answer my question. You can still see your life as not worth living while living for another presence."

"..." "Were you attempting to commit suicide with this poison?"

A few seconds pass before Nagito kicks the bottle away from him, harshly, resulting in the bottle hitting the wall and cracking. The noise rattled across the room, causing both boys to cringe at the ruckus.

"If that's your conclusion, then why don't you see me dead? Poison doesn't work so slowly."

That was a good question, one that stung Gundham's nose and caused his brows to furrow. Was the poison only for consumption? If so, then there is no way Nagito would be before him.

Perhaps he is seeing a wandering spirit?

Unlikely; this island likes to block magical properties from other realms to conceal itself.

What other way is there to poison yourself?

The answer stung his nose harshly as he inhaled.

Ah, you would think he would have noticed by now.

"You are trying to kill yourself slowly with the fumes of the poison."

"You seem so sure." "Do not mock me, fiend. How long have you been here doing, doing this?"

"I wasn't counting the minutes go by, Gundham."

"An _estimated_ time, scum."

"20 minutes? 25?" 

~~_Had he heard Nekomaru's fall?_ ~~

"I don't really remember, could have been only 15 minutes. I'm just waiting. It takes a surprisingly long time."

"Why are you committing such blasphemy? To throw away the life given to you, as if nothing, is a disrespect to the higher powers.”

"I don't believe in gods. Hope has had a more prominent role in my life."

"Hm. If I may inquire, would dying for hope be betraying it?"

"Huh? No, of course not. If I'm not used as a step stool for hope, I don't deserve to be there in the first place. That's why killing for hope isn't a bad thing! It creates immense despair to see your friends dead; surely that despair can be overcome by ultimates to bring an even bigger hope!"

"...do you think your death would bring despair? After all you've done to your fellow fiends? Do you deserve to go out that way, to seem innocent in mind, just for your twisted sense of morale?"

Nagito's lips pursed into a thin line as he stared at his dirtied shoes. Gundham noticed the slight shake of the boy's hands and the way his eyes seemed to pierce to the floor, dissecting it; as if that was more important than answering Gundham's questions.

"...Your death wouldn't do anything for hope, if I'm going by your logic. You see yourself as less then and always go to degradation rather than gratitude when thanking another ultimate. So, your death, at least if it were to be suicide, would do nothing to help despair or hope."

“...” “You aren’t doing this for hope. You’re doing it for yourself.”

Nagito Komaeda, The Ultimate Lucky Student.

Most would say his logic was flawed, evil, and demented. Gundham was one to agree.

It was only as Gundham said those words did he truly understand what hope meant to Nagito.

An absolute good that only Ultimates can encompass.

_“You people don't deserve to be titled Ultimates. Those who fall to despair, those who reek of the stench, don't deserve my respect.”_

Ultimates are absolute good; those who can always overcome despair, no matter how grand, with their everlasting hope.

“What did you mean when you inquired that all of us have fallen to despair?”

“Why would it matter if I told you? After the class trial, you won’t be here for when it matters.”

“What do you-”

“It sucks to have an internal clock, you know? I woke up _so_ early that I saw Nekomaru and you going to Grape house. Yet no one else was awake. I thought I was mistaken.”

A wicked smile crosses Nagito’s face as he looks at Gundham with glee.

”I suppose I wasn’t. Thank you for talking to me Gundham. And for wasting your time.”

The clock went off as Gundham heard the faint sound of Fuyuhiko’s frantic cursing.

_There went his alibi._

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so, just a note: I don't agree with Gundham's thoughts on suicide at all but those are his canon feelings. Made me icky just typing that :P
> 
> Also the spacing is horrible Im so sorry
> 
> **another note! In this “au,” the only difference is that these two have this convo at the beginning of the day. So Gundham is still found out guilty and is still executed.**


End file.
